Tired and semi drunken musings from the happiest fucking place on earth

Day 1

My nephew really likes ketchup

I’m writing this from the Artisan Point lounge in the Wilderness Lodge at Walt Diseny World.

As I noted earlier, I’m here with my family. In particular, my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and niece. This is the trip we never took when we were younger and now my mom and dad really wanted to take everyone and the grandkids. They saved up for this trip by collecting dimes and quarters for the better part of a decade. I’m not kidding.

This was the first time my niece, nephew and sister-in-law ever have flown in an airplane. Its also the first time any of them have been south of Milwaukee. Even my parents don’t travel a ton, so they like to take adavantage of every little thing offered, like free pretzles on the plane. I’m so jaded of travel at this point I never take anything, and just to my best to enter a trance like state for the duration of the flight to get it over with sooner. I managed to go both legs of the 13 hour flight to Buenos Aires, sitting in the middle seat, without so much as getting up to stretch my legs.

My thoughts on Disney World are random and are in no way intended to be consistent. Please remember, I’m very tired AND have had a glass of wine.

– I haven’t been here in 6 years. Everything is familiar, but there are no memories that come flooding back.

– Last two times I was here I came with my ex-girlfriend. Its a very different experience being here with another adult vs. being here with your family and some kids. I really wish I had someome here to hang with in addition to my familty. Nothing against them, they are good people, but its just not the same.

– Disney World proper is about 47 square miles. That’s huge. There are four major theme parks (Magic Kingdom, Epcot, MGM Studios, and Animal Kingdom). The Magic Kingdom is by far the lamest. We went there tonight after we got in for about 3 hours and I have no desire to return.

– The carousel was probably a great thing 100 years ago, but it just doesn’t cut it anymore. As my nephew put it rather well “that was the lamest ride ever”.

– The Carousel of Progress, however, is one of my favorite things at Disney World. Its a anamatroic recreation of the Disney pavillion at the 1964 Worlds Fair. The audience moves in a circle to different scenes from 1900, 1920something, the late 1940s, and “today” where grandma play “virtual reality” games on the “high definition TV”. Mom just got done programing the home voice automation program,which ends in hillarity when dad tries to cook a turkey. Its cheezy, but I really like it. Cheesy is good.

– Disney World seems like a litmus test for people. Either they love it or they hate it. Usually for the exact same reasons.

– I’m amazed at the attention to detail that they have here. Once you pay for park admission, there is no marginal revenue to anything of the attractions in the park. It would be easy to cut corners here or there to try and save money, but they don’t do it. They could increae the time between paintings by 10%, they could cut down on the pyrotechnics by 10%, they could do lots of little things that I’m sure most people wouldn’t notice. But they don’t. The entire organization is amazingly streamlined. I think about 50,000 people work for Disney Worlds in all positions. I have yet to meet anyone who isn’t nice (or at least they’re not jerks).

– Though clearly listed on their wine list, I think I’m the first person ever to order the Malbec here. The guy who took my order didn’t know what I was talking about and it took him 5 minutes to find it.

– I’m going to try and take several backstage tours while I’m here. I’ve been through the parks 3x, so I’m not missing much by seeing everything a fouth. I’m really interested in seeing how everything runs and am willing to pay extra to do it.

– They do not have wireless internet access here. WTF. I get the fact that they are trying to milk you out of every dime you have. I can accept that. But occasionally, just pretend your getting a deal. Even Motel 6 will give you a free donut and coffee in the morning.

– Must all men where knee lenght shorts, sandals, a baseball hat, and a polo shirt?
(or wife beater T-shirt with some sort of failed humor on it)???