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If this is what it means to own a Macintosh, forget it

This morning I made an off the cuff remark about getting a Mac. I assumed that the people reading the post would be limited, as usual, to friends and people I know.

Somehow, the thread got its way onto some Apple news site and I got bombarded this morning by Mac zealots. Here is the winner comment so far…:

  • Man aren’t we all sick and tired of hearing moronic articles from butt wads like Gary. Hey Gary stop fucking whining and go do a virus scan on your Windows shit box. There is no point correcting these ass holes they are either incapable of learning or too stupid to learn, in any case it isn’t worth any effort.

The thing to remember is that my post was originally about HOW I WANTED TO BUY A MAC. If this is how they treat people who want to buy one, I’d hate to see how they react to people who don’t.

I know you can use a third party mouse on a Mac. The mini doesn’t even come with a mouse and I’ve seen multi-button mice run on Macs. I was making a comment about the company, not actual criteria I need to purchase one.

This is the site where my post found its way to.

I have no problem with people telling me that I’m full of shit. I’ve been involved in academic debate for 20 years and its something I’m pretty used to now. Most of the things I believe I expect people raise objection to……but menu bars??? What a petty and trivial thing to get up in arms about. Its like arguing the moral superiority of Coke over Pepsi. Based on comments, you’d think I made a joke about the Holocaust. (annnnnnnd I thereby invoke Godwin’s Law, beating everyone to the punch)

Why did I want to want a Mac? (note the past tense) Really just as a plaything. Same reason I want to play with Linux more. I used to have a Mac. I currently have an iPod. They’re the underdog. They have good design. You get the picture.

I’m not a fan of Microsoft. I’m not defending Windows or any other Microsoft product (except for their keyboards and mice which I like). I’ve gone out of my way to remove everything Microsoft from my system save for the OS and Media Player.

Mac zealots have the charisma of television evangelists. Its not enough that someone might want to buy a Mac, they require total conversion. To them, Mac OS isn’t just better, its perfect.

I’ve studied rhetoric and persuasion enough to know that if you want someone to come over to your way of thinking, the last thing you want to do is antagonize them. Calling them a sinner probably isn’t the best strategy. If they were smart they would have said “whoo hoo! Good choice! Once you get a Mac you wont even notice the menu bars any more. Welcome to the club!” instead of what you see above.

One of my friends is working at Apple corporate offices in Cupertino this summer. I hope he gets a chance to bring this up in a meeting as an example of how the Mac faithful can be just as much of a liability as an asset.

By Gary

3 dimples. 7 continents. 130 countries.

10 replies on “If this is what it means to own a Macintosh, forget it”

I suspect that if you said to most of those people, “hey, I watched a video clip of Mr. T cornholing your mother on WMP last night,” their first reaction would be to tell you how much better QuickTime is. Fuck ’em.

You wented wrong when you “wanted to want”

Here a few helpful hints.
1) Have your friends proof-read you copy Gary.
2) Re-read you articles before you post them
3) For God’s sakes, try to make some sense

Don’t post unintelligible statement like this: “I’ve wanted to want an Apple. You read that correctly. I want to want one.”

You don’t sound like you know want you want. Remember, if you sit on the fence, you not very stable—someone will knock you down.

You wented wrong when you “wanted to want”

Here a few helpful hints.
1) Have your friends proof-read your copy Gary. (see how easy it is to make a mistake)
2) Re-read you articles before you post them
3) For God’s sakes, try to make some sense

Don’t post unintelligible statement like this: “I’ve wanted to want an Apple. You read that correctly. I want to want one.”

You don’t sound like you know want you want. Remember, if you sit on the fence, you not very stable—someone will knock you down.

turboparrot, You remind me of Jon Favreau’s character Mikey in “Swingers” when he calls up the girl and leaves 5 messages in a row on her answering machine.

PWN!

Well, I do hope that you and those who read this blog regularly to not take these rude people to be “they” if by “they” you mean all people who use Macs or Apple itself. But, I’m sure you would not rush to such a hasty generalization.

“Wait. Does turboparrot want to sleep with Gary? Is Gary a girl? ”

Metaphorically, yes.

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